


Be

by PerfectlyHopeless



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, post leandra's death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-12-09 10:15:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20993147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PerfectlyHopeless/pseuds/PerfectlyHopeless
Summary: When I have no kind words left, love, for youBe, be, be, be, beBe as you've always been





	Be

**Author's Note:**

> Recently I got a month of Origin Access for free and decided to jump into DA2 again while I could. Unfortunately for me, it crashed and bungled my PC so hard that Windows had to be reset. But I still love these two and playing again reminded me of this soft little moment that we get, so I've expanded upon it!

* * *

Madisen sat on the edge of her bed and felt incredibly small within the enormous house that she'd worked so hard for. Not for her, but for her family.

And now she was the only one left.

Death had been something that clung to the corners of her mind ever since her father died. It had been unexpected but sickness could be cruel and the Maker had taken Malcolm to his side. She'd expected her mother would be next, but later down the line. Leandra had such a forceful personality she'd assumed she'd live forever. Live until Madisen was old enough to have children for her mother to dote upon. She didn't particularly want children, but that was the image that had always come to mind and Leandra had always complained about the lack of grandchildren. When Carver died, everything changed. Suddenly, dying of old age was a pipe dream for those more fortunate. 

Bethany was still alive, but she was locked away in the Circle like a prisoner. The ordeal then had made Madisen feel like she had failed her duty as a sister. She was supposed to protect her and she'd left her behind out of some fear she could get hurt in the Deep Roads. Such foolish fears.

Madisen knew that she wasn't totally alone. Bodhan and Sandal lived downstairs, along with Orana. But they somehow made her feel even more alone. A giant house with servants and for what? One person? The Amell estate had never been her dream. A house nicer than Gamlen's hovel was absolutely the end goal, but this was extravagance she didn't need. She didn't want it. But she couldn't just leave her hired help jobless on the streets when she knew they were safe here.

Madisen couldn't remember the last time she'd done something purely for herself. It was upsetting to try remembering.

She'd cried several times since her mother was laid to rest. The Chantry Sisters had been sympathetic but Madisen couldn't feel anything but numbness when they offered their condolences. It was as though she was feeling so much all at once that in order to cope, her mind decided to simply stop feeling. It seemed counter productive. 

Madisen was wavering in and out of feeling when she heard the knock on her bedroom door. She glanced over her shoulder, expecting to see Bodhan trying to get her to come to dinner or whatever meal was being served next. Instead, she saw Fenris. He stood awkwardly in the doorway, shifting on his feet as his large green eyes met hers and held the gaze of her grey eyes for just too long before glancing away and hiding his face beneath his bangs. 

"Bodhan let me in," he explained of his presence. "It's been almost two weeks since you left the house, the others and I have been getting worried."

"Two weeks…" she echoed, her eyes widening in the realization that she'd hidden from the world for so long. She sighed and forced a smile to pull at her mouth. "Sorry about that. I've recently been orphaned."

"I'm aware," he said, watching her closely. Any other time he might have cracked a smile at her darker attempts at humor. "May I?"

Madisen patted the space on the bed beside her, inviting him to sit down. She turned back around and listened to his footsteps as he neared, sitting down just to her right. Just near enough to be close but far enough that they wouldn't touch. It stung but she wouldn't make a fuss.

"I'll admit, I don't know what I'm doing," Fenris confessed. 

"I don't either," Madisen said, sighing. "I don't think that there's anything anyone could say that would make this better."

Fenris nodded his understanding and shifted slightly. There was a long pause where neither of them spoke, only the sound of Madisen's fireplace keeping the room from being totally silent. After a while Fenris shifted, looking in her direction. "Do… do you want me to stay?"

Madisen worried her lower lip between her teeth for a long moment before glancing up at him. "Yes. I… I don't want to be alone. I don't think I should be."

He met her gaze and held it for a while before his eyes scanned her face. They still hadn't talked about it. The timing was never right. But it was impossible to deny that they had feelings for one another. 

"I won't pressure you into anything," she assured him when she noticed him open his mouth and close it a couple times, somewhat lost on what to say. "Just you being here helps more than you could know." 

"Then I will stay," he said, voice low and warm and decisive. Comforting.

Madisen nodded and glanced at the floor, her emotions flailing between overwhelming and numbness. She closed her eyes and hardly noticed as Fenris shed his sharp gloves, taking her hand in his. His palm was warm and solid, and she could feel the ridges of his tattoos that she was afraid to hold too tightly lest she cause him pain. She found herself leaning against his chest as tears leaked from her eyes, an arm wrapping around her shoulders to hold her close while the other carded through her hair. It had recently been washed but Madisen had neglected to comb it, his fingers gently tugging free tangles as they caught on her jet black strands. 

"I'm sorry," she mumbled into his chest as she clung to the front of his hardened leathers.

"You're forgiven," Fenris assured her, nuzzling his nose and forehead against the top of her head. 

She choked on a sob at his gentle voice telling her words that she needed to hear. He wasn't good with people, but he knew her well enough to know what might help, even with their romantic relationship in indefinite limbo. 

He held her tight enough to assure her that he wouldn't be leaving until she wanted him to go. The two eventually ended up further back on the bed, Madisen's head on Fenris' lap as he held her hand and continued to stroke her hair. And then later his shoulder pieces were shucked off to allow him to lie down as Madisen used his stomach for a pillow, Fenris lying across short ways and Madi long ways. He kept playing with her hair and holding her hand, his thumb running against hers soothingly. 

Their hands fit so perfectly together.

They stayed like that for a while. Hours, probably, as Madisen found herself falling in and out of sleep. At one point she heard Bodhan start to knock on the open door before quickly shuffling off, not wanting to disturb them and the peace that Fenris' presence provided. 

Neither of them were ready to talk about it. The timing wasn't right. But for now Madisen didn't need closure. She just needed to be held. To be loved even if neither would never say the words aloud. They didn't need to be said when Madisen could feel his skin in her hand, their palms sweaty from holding each other for so long. When she could hear Fenris' low voice in his chest, humming softly to pass the time while they lay there together and simply were.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, I hope that you enjoyed! If you're so inclined please consider leaving comments or critiques, I adore getting feedback in all of its forms. 
> 
> I hope that you have a lovely day <3


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